


Home Again

by YennaWang



Series: Tumblr Requests [37]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/F, One Shot, Sad but happy fic, doctor!korra, workaholic!asami
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 04:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13539903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YennaWang/pseuds/YennaWang
Summary: Request: So I've had this idea for a while. Korra broke up with Asami because she couldn't handle that Asami was an extreme workaholic who never really rested and never really spent time with Korra. After the breakup Asami throws herself even more into her work and [time] later she gets hospitalized because she collapsed (worked herself to the bone, forgot to eat and stuff). there she meets Korra again.





	Home Again

The fact that, we as humans have emotions and the ability for higher thinking, has always been something that’s interested me. It’s amazing that we can empathize with another without even experiencing it ourselves. We may smile when another person smiles at us. We may cry when someone else cries. We may feel an ache in our heart when we see someone’s relationship end. It’s one of those things that makes life worth living. Makes it so amazing.

But it’s also the worst too. Our complex minds allow for doubt. It allows for overthinking and leads us to taking actions we may regret. It makes us question everything in this world and everything that we do. It allows us to feel so much and feel so little at the same time. And that’s where I am now. I’m so broken that I’m numb. I’ve cried to the extent where I have no more tears. I’ve rerun the same thoughts through my mind to the point that I'm drawing a blank.

I don’t know how long I’ve been staring at the same spot on the ceiling, but it's been a long time. The clock next to the bed clicks melodically as the seconds pass. Everything just feels wrong. The room feels wrong. The bed feels wrong. The smell's wrong. The sounds are wrong. The only thing that's right is the feeling of emptiness in my chest. My heart aches and all I want to do is pick up my phone and call her. To tell her that this wasn’t the way it was supposed to happen. But I know I can’t.

I knew what I was getting into when we first started dating. I knew that her work was her first love, but I thought it would work because we both acknowledged it. We both knew that we had our own careers, our own paths that we would need to take. But I had always thought we would make time and space for one another. That we’d sometimes put our jobs on hold.

At first we did. We made time for one another. We were living in the moment. But as time progressed and years passed, it started to change. Suddenly when we were together, we weren’t together. She’d be on her phone, constantly plugged in. Constantly replying to emails and checking up on her employees and contacting partners. Eventually this progressed to her not even meeting me. To the extent where I was sitting in restaurants, cafes, theaters, and more, just waiting for her. More than not, she would forget completely, only apologizing and making excuses after I’d call or text her. And then I'd return home to an empty bed. And again I would find myself waiting.

And I’m the first to understand that work is important, especially if you love what you do. I’d be crazy to be working as an emergency physician if not. The work wasn’t made for someone who couldn’t invest time and devotion. But there’s a point to where it’s too much. And she somehow had reached that point and our relationship was put on the back burner. Eventually the flame would fade completely.

Even though it’s been three days since I’d finally called it quits, I can still hear her weak voice and the way it cracked when she begged me not to leave. I can still see the tears that had streamed down her cheeks and smudged her usually flawless makeup. I remember the way her slender hand had reached out and clutched the back of my shirt and the way she clung onto me. I can remember it all. The way I quietly walked through the house that was ours. The house that we had made so many memories in. How I had left my home behind. My home that was her.

* * *

My feet feel heavy as I move through the halls of the hospital. Even though it’s bustling with people moving in and out, I don’t hear or notice any of it. My mind is still focused on what’s ended more than anything else. I can’t stay in the present and instead keep getting trapped in the past. Recalling memory after memory. Flitting from the best of memories to the worst of memories. The times when we adopted our puppy, Naga. The times when I’d bring her lunch, to drag her away from her work and she’d actually appreciate it. The times when she would take me driving around the track in the newest car model, going on about this and that which I never truly understood. But then I’d remember the yelling. The times I’d burst at her for standing me up or forgetting an anniversary. She’d always just shrink in on herself, always apologizing in the quietest of voices. Every time, she’d slink off to her office, throw herself into her work instead of trying to solve the problem though. Every, single, time.

Things happen for a reason and I know I need to accept it. I need to move on because it’s already been two months. And yet it feels as if it were yesterday. I wonder how long it’s going to take to move on. I know that I won’t be able to forget and honestly I don’t want to. I just want to feel at peace with the choices I’ve made, but I can’t.

“Korra!”

My head jerks up at the sound of my name. Bolin is panting as he hunches over with his hands resting on his knees.

“Where am I needed?” I ask, automatically thinking this is related to something in the ER.

Bolin shakes his head and holds up his finger, signaling that he needs a moment to catch his breath. He’s easily one of the best nurses in the hospital. Alway so personable and able to make the saddest person smile in the hardest of times.

“Asami,” he gasps.

My brow furrows. “What about her?” I kind of snap.

“She’s here.”

“What?!”

“Here.” He points down at the ground. “At the hospital.” He finally stands and looks at me, his eyes full of sadness. Something that is so rare to see it causes my heart to instantly ache. How serious was this to make the most optimistic man this distraught?

“Where?”

“A wing,” he says.

I let out a heavy sigh. At least she’s in the least intensive area of the hospital.

“What happened?”

“Her secretary brought her in because she was acting weird. Saying stuff she wouldn’t normally say and then she just collapsed in the middle of a meeting. They said it’s probably sleep deprivation, stress, and exhaustion.”

“S-she collapsed? Did she hurt herself?”

“Luckily, she didn’t. I think they have her hooked up with an IV too. I guess she hasn’t been eating either.”

“What? I-I…”

“It’s not your fault. But I think you should go see her,” Bolin suggests.

“I don’t know if I can.”

“Do it for her.”

* * *

“Shit,” I whisper as soon as I see her. I close my eyes for a moment, holding back the tears I can feel welling up. “Look at you,” I say to myself as I pick up a chair and silently place it beside the bed.

I sit down, not daring to touch her. But not because I’m worried I’d wake her, but because I don’t have the right to. How could I let her get to this? How could I have left her? I know I can’t make choices for her, but maybe if I had tried to stick it out, tried harder to fix what we had… she wouldn’t be here. Wouldn’t be hooked up with fluids flowing into her body. Wouldn’t have sunken eyes with dark bags beneath them. Maybe her body wouldn’t look as if it’d lost twenty pounds. Maybe her skin wouldn’t be as ashy and pale. Maybe, just maybe if I had just tried harder.

“What’s happened to you?” I ask her although I know she’s asleep, something she evidently needs. She looks as if she hasn’t rested for days, weeks, maybe even months.

I sit there, not caring about the ache in my back. I sit there, trying to imagine how things could have been different. How things could have been. I sit there, waiting for her to wake, knowing full well I may not be welcome when she does.

* * *

“Mmmm,” I groan softly. Someone’s hand is threading through my hair and my eyes gradually open, trying to adjust to the bright lighting.

“You look tired.”

It’s a voice I haven’t heard in so long. A voice that I thought I wouldn’t hear again, not since I had walked out. A voice that I had missed so dearly.

“I’m not the one in the hospital bed,” I mumble as I sit up, her hand settling down at her side.

She’s sitting up now, the IV not in her arm anymore. Our eyes meet and her peridot ones are nothing more than tired. Her body had obviously shown that, but finally looking into her eyes, I can see and feel how exhausted she truly is.

She laughs weakly. “That’s true.” Asami's expression changes though and she looks at me seriously. “Why are you here?”

“I, um… Bolin said that you were here and I just…” my voice trails off. I don’t even know where to begin trying to tell Asami about how I feel and what hell the last two months have been.

“You what, Korra?” Asami presses.

“I was worried,” I whisper, barely loud enough for Asami to hear.

“You don’t need to worry about me.”

“I know,” I mumble. “But when he said that you were here, every single worst case scenario went through my head. I couldn’t stop thinking that you might have been in an accident where you seriously got hurt. Where you…” My voice cracks and I clench my eyes shut. I don’t want to cry in front of her.  

“I think I’d take being in an accident over you leaving me,” Asami admits softly. “It’d probably hurt less. Honestly-”

“Asami, I-”

“Wait, let me speak.” I close my mouth and nod for her to continue. “Honestly, I understand though.” She pauses and takes in a steady breath. “I know why and I guess I needed to lose you to realize what was actually happening. It was my fault.”

“Asami, it wasn’t. We both made our own choices and are at fault in our own ways.”

“Sure, but it was my actions that forced you to leave. I wasn’t there for you. I was always at work and even when you made time for me, I didn’t do the same for you. I just made excuses. Made reasons to make myself feel better for what I was doing to you. You did everything you could and I wasn’t doing a single thing.”

I open my mouth to speak, but she shakes her head.

“You know it’s true.”

I’m speechless and it’s clear that Asami can see that.

“I ruined what we had. And I-I didn’t know what to do. When you left me… I don’t think I’ve ever felt as horrible as I did that day. It broke me and I chose the only thing I knew what to do. Instead of trying to reach out to you, to get you back… I worked and worked and worked. Honestly, I think it’s the only thing I can do right,” Asami’s voice cracks, tears now streaming down her cheeks. “I should have followed you. I should have run after you and not let you go. I miss you. I miss you so much, Korra. I-I thought work would be able to distract me, but it didn’t. No matter what I did, I was still thinking of you. I wanted to hear your voice, to tell you about my day, to feel you hold me and tell me that I was doing a good job and that everything would be okay. But it wasn’t. And I know, I know it was because of my choices.”

I can tell she wants to reach out to take my hand, but she holds back.

“I don’t even know why I’m telling you all this. There’s no reason for you to forgive me. I know I hurt you and I can’t take that back now,” Asami says, her voice hopeless.

Neither of us speak as tears keep falling from Asami’s eyes. She covers her face with her hands and shrinks in on herself, just like she had so many times before. She never was one to deal with confrontation when it wasn’t related to her company.

“You can’t take it back… but you could fix it,” I finally say. I get up from the chair and settle on the edge of the bed. I reach out and guide her hands from her face. I wipe away her tears with my thumbs and then cup her cheeks. “Leaving you was the hardest decision I’ve ever made in my life. I loved you. I loved you more than anything in this world, but I didn’t feel that you felt the same way. Honestly, you broke my heart too… but I missed you.” I pause to clear my throat. “And I still love you.”

The corner of Asami’s mouth twitch and then fall back to a straight line. I’m not sure what’s going through her mind, but I hope it’s the same thing that’s going through mine. I smooth my thumbs over her cheeks, trying to reassure her.

“I never wanted to leave you. I just felt that it was my only choice at that point… so I did. But I can’t stop thinking that it was the worst thing I could have done. I-I still want to work this out, Asami. B-but I can’t be the only one wanting to fix this.”

“I’ll do anything,” Asami says, more strongly than anything else she’s said. “I love you... and as you can see I’m even more of a mess without you.”

I smile at her attempt to lighten the mood with a joke, even though it’s really bad.

“You’re still beautiful and I still love you,” I try to comfort her.

She just laughs at me and turns her head to kiss the center of my palm.

“I really missed you,” she mumbles, her lips brushing against my skin. “Can I hug you?” She can’t bring herself to look at me, her eyes focused at the wall past my head.

I don’t answer her with words, instead I lean forward and wrap her up in my arms. She clings onto me, her hands clutching onto my doctor’s coat and her face burrowed into my neck. I close my eyes, letting her familiar scent and warmth calm me. It’s the most at peace I’ve felt since I’d walked out.

“We’re going to make this work, I promise,” Asami says muffled against my neck.

I nod, not able to speak as tears slowly fall down my cheeks.

I’m home again.

**Author's Note:**

> I've honestly had a really rough week, but writing this helped. It made me feel better getting some things out there. So thanks for the request and I hope you don't mind the more angsty fic. I attempted to get deep, but idk if it really translated over in words, but I hope so. It's honestly really hard to write an emotional fic when it's short like this.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading everyone. Please remember to leave comments, hit the kudos button, and subscribe if you like this or my other fics.
> 
> You can also find me at ahhhsami.tumblr.com!


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